Grief punch on the way to WrestleMania

by Kim G​​öransson

Rhea Ripley, Dominik Mysterio and Becky Lynch on Raw, March 25, 2024

In a recent promo on Raw in the lead up to WrestleMania XL Rhea Ripley, flanked by her Judgement Day ride or die “Dirty” Dominik Mysterio, brings up Becky Lynch’s daughter and Becky tells her, and us, dressed from head to toe in a badass leather outfit, that her dad never got to see her daughter. Her voice breaks: “And I know he’s proud of everything I’ve done in this ring, but I know the thing he would be most proud of is the mother I’ve become.” Rhea’s awesome clownish grin fades a little as the stand off continues, culminating minutes later in Becky landing the cleanest punch you’ll ever see to Dom’s unsuspecting jaw. Poor Dom, always getting beat. The two stars furiously brawl, writing story for their upcoming championship match in Philly.

In an earlier promo Becky talks about having missed her father’s funeral. Back in December, I missed my father’s funeral too, or I watched it on YouTube a week after it happened. As his health declined, then got better, and declined again through the second half of 2023, I started watching WWE for the first time since I was a kid. A friend got me into it by recommending the documentary American Nightmare: Becoming Cody Rhodes. A big part of Cody’s story is that his father, wrestling icon Dusty Rhodes, “The American Dream”, never won the WWF championship. In 1977 he faced “Superstar” Billy Graham (not the evangelist) in Madison Square Garden for the title and won, but by ring-out, which meant that the belt didn’t change hands. That was as close as he would ever get. Cody has been chasing the title for himself but also for his father. Dusty died in 2015. For both Cody and Becky, losing their father has been weaved into their character storylines. Both are challenging for titles this weekend.

As a kid, I loved The Undertaker and Bret Hart, which feels fitting for a gemini. The dark and the hot pink. I loved the colorful American spectacle that seemed bigger than life. I remember watching recorded WrestleManias at a friend’s house, compelled by it while for my friends it was more something to have on in the background. I remember wearing an Undertaker and Bret Hart shirts and feeling cool even if I probably wasn’t. Playing the video games. At some point, the interest faded in favor of other interests. Or because I lost access. Or because I internalized views about pro wrestling not being serious, not a "real" sport, something you grow out of. 

I’ve always been a sports fan: playing and watching. Mainly football (soccer) but I will get into anything. I love the World Cup and the Olympics. I will invest in curling and ping pong. Cross country skiing is riveting, guys! Growing up in Sweden, hockey was huge. Me and my friends collected hockey cards and pretended to be our favorite NHL stars, staying out on the ice until we were frozen numb and happy. Sports was also something I bonded with my dad over. Some of our last conversations still concerned what was going on in the world of sports, asking if there were any matches on that day. We followed and talked about the women’s World Cup throughout the summer 2023 as he was going in and out of the hospital. Growing up, we played football, and hockey, or bandy (which is like soccer and hockey mixed), and innebandy (the indoor, skateless version). I was too shy or indecisive to join any teams but throughout high school my dad and I played at a school next to our house on Sundays with a ragtag group of all ages, for fun. We were comparably good and almost identical in physique and style, with a similar appreciation for sports as a place where you can make beautiful things happen: tricks, assists and goals. I loved playing with him, we seemed to share a mind for what we wanted to happen on the field or court.

I’ve always been into the showmanship of sports, the performance and theater of it, the drama of it. In retrospect, I wish I could go back to early 90s me and tell me to stick with wrestling, because it has all of that and more. Yeah it’s overly dramatic, so is sports and that’s ok. Fellas (teenage me), it’s ok to be compelled by drama and invest in stories and gossip, you don’t have to call it something else. Sports is a big soap and professional wrestling knows it. I love following along and the uncertainty, not knowing where we're going or how we're going to get there, moving from heartbreak to roaring joy. 

The tedious argument is that professional wrestling isn’t a real sport because it’s predetermined. Fine, but that is such a boring qualifier. I guess you could call it theater, entertainment, but there's also a sport element to it. Wrestlers are incredible and daring athletes. Watch Ricochet fly. Watch Mick Foley and Iyo Sky tumble off a 16 feet steel cage. That it’s predetermined is something I like about it. It becomes collaboration. The way two or more wrestlers choreograph themselves into a dance, flying off ropes, and catching each other. It’s beautiful. The care that they take in guiding and protecting each other through a match, if they’re any good. The way they sell it. It’s a collaboration where if they put on a strong match, both actually win. I find that moving. I’m also in awe. How are they even doing this for 10-20-30-40 minutes? Several times a week? Not just the physical fight itself, but the collaboration in delivering promos, building a character that you as a fan come to invest in. It’s a soap and also a sense of community. You can sense the community among the wrestlers and it extends to the fans. My instagram right now is 80% WWE. They’re always commenting on each other’s post! 

Another point: the freedom of expression in your character. Dressing up. Make up. You can become anyone and then turn and become someone else. Become a heel, and back to face again. The stories are the same and endlessly varied. And as fans we get to live through it. Besides, you get a cool entrance song and people are excited to see you, sometimes. We all need cool entrance music. With technological advancements, why do we still not have cool entrance music? Leos everywhere want to know.

I recently went back and watched the 2018 all women's Evolution event. In the next to last match of the card Charlotte Flair challenges Becky Lynch for the Smackdown women's title in a last woman standing match (you only win if your opponent doesn't get up before the ref counts to 10). It is a grueling fight with a slow build and you can tell both Becky and Charlotte made a deal to give it all they have. They both take a serious beating. Their intensity and commitment is at a 10 from the start. For some reason watching this hit me on a deeper level, that I can’t quite articulate. At one point Charlotte places Becky on a table in the ring and moonsaults from the top rope to land on her. The table doesn't break so she does it again, with a front flip, and this time it does. For a moment both wrestlers lay motionless in an embrace in the middle of the broken table as the camera zooms. It feels like a moment, like care. Later Becky buries Charlotte under chairs until we can no longer see her but on the 9 count Charlotte manages to emerge. The match continues.

Grief is strange. I lost a parent but I also lost a friend, someone to talk to and someone who saw me, knew me. You become untethered from existing in this one way that you’ve known your whole life, since you were a child, existing in the gaze of a parent. Instead you have to figure out how to exist with an absence. Following Raw and Smackdown weekly has been an escape but also a routine, something to hold on to. I don’t know that my dad would get into WWE but I think he could appreciate it. He did box some, growing up. I think he would appreciate Becky's punch.

Becky Lynch and Charlotte Flair at Evolution, 2018

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If you have a peacock account you already have access to the entire catalog of classic and new-ish WWF/WWE. They also carry a lot of documentaries including American Nightmare. On Hulu you can (currently) watch edited episodes of Raw and Smackdown the day after they air. After a month they move to Peacock. 

Superfan: the story of Vladimir

A 30 minute documentary on Peacock about superfan Vladimir. It feels like a good place to start. This is also a story about grief. I dare you to watch this without crying. I dare you!  

Wrestlers

Wrestlers on Netflix is a documentary series following the small Ohio Valley Wrestling company, led by Al Snow. 

American Nightmare: Becoming Cody Rhodes

American Nightmare will give you a good summary of one of the main stories leading into WrestleMania XL. On Peacock. All these are great documentaries full stop, even if you don't plan on 

Cassandro

This 2023 movie with Gael Garcia Bernal as luchador Cassandro was so slept on. It's great. On prime.

Dark side of the ring

On hulu. These stories from the history of professional wrestling are heartbreaking and informative. Watch one and then take a break and watch another. 

Steve Austin: Broken Skull Sessions 

I’ve been enjoying these long interviews where Stone Cold talks to current and former wrestlers. Also on peacock.

To get ready for WrestleMania I would watch the WrestleMania kickoff show from February 8th, on YouTube, which is cinema. And follow that story through the last couple Raw and Smackdown episodes.

Happy WrestleMania!

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​​Kim Göransson lives in Southwest VA. They like to bake and make pasta and get lost in nature. They like tinned fish and brie and sad movies and wrestling. Sometimes they take photographs, write, make art and music. Web editor for Meow Meow Pow Pow Lit. Shinsuke Nakamura fan. You can find them @sonofgore on Instagram.​